Catching Up

Hey there, ‘Redheads… My streak of regular bloggery is sputtering through May. If I was smarter, I would’ve taken advantage of my usual monthly stunt blogging and called it “I May Blog”, but I’m not, so I’m just going to chalk it up to a general May-laise. For now, I’ll just blog when the mood strikes. It just takes awhile for the mood to strategize. Anyway, I hope everyone had a fun weekend. I got to check out the Anti-Social Network Tour, over at Constitution Hall on Friday. The combined forces of Jim Norton, Bill Burr, Jim Breuer, and Dave Attell formed a bitter Voltron of comedy. Local comic done good, Seaton Smith, opened up for them. I was very jealous and very impressed. Top to bottom, it was a great show in front of a packed house of about 2500 people. Before the show, I got a chance to hang out backstage for a meet and greet with the guys. They spent a few minutes glad handing and posing for pictures. I always feel like a jackass asking for pictures, but I was able to get one with the most approachable of the group, Jim Breuer…

Of course, the big news that fell from the sky today, like a gift from the comedy gods, is the revelation that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with one of his house staff ten years ago. Start filling sand bags and brace yourselves for the flood of hack Sperminator jokes and shitty Ahnold impressions that’ll come from this. I wish I could take credit for it, but my favorite joke I’ve heard so far came from Marc Unger, who wrote, “And the child’s name is John Conner.” I’m not condoning his actions, but I can’t blame Arnold for straying from Maria Shriver, who’s so bony, it must be like having sex with a wire hanger. Hey, Maria, those aren’t rock hard abs…that’s your rib cage. I wouldn’t be shocked if they were sleeping in separate places, him in his bedroom and her in her sarcophagus.

That’s all for now.