A mind like a steel sieve…

Let’s face it, people…sometimes I’m a moron…an idiot…so dense that light bends around me. Why so hard on yourself, Jared? Glad you asked. Tuesday, that’s why. What’d you do on Tuesday? Well, I stayed in and did laundry. Well, that doesn’t seem so idiotic. You’d think that. What I SHOULD have done was go to the DC Improv to see the open mic contest. A show I could’ve seen FOR FREE that would’ve been a guaranteed good time and featured my fellow Sketchup alum, Alicia Gomes. She took 2nd place. She was a damn funny gal when we were in college and I have yet to see her showcase her talent as a stand up comic. It’s mental lapses like this that make me wish I was man enough to kick my own ass.

Tomorrow, I have a 4 hour drive to Lynchburg, VA for a one-nighter at the Boonsboro Country Club. Next time, I need to consult MapQuest BEFORE I take the gig. Hopefully it’ll be a worthwhile trek.

News Flash:

LOS ANGELES – A woman is suing ABC’s reality show “Extreme Makeover” for unspecified damages. In a lawsuit filed Sept. 9 in Los Angeles Superior Court, Deleese Williams, 30, of Conroe, Texas, claimed the producers subjected her to needless humiliation and goaded her sister into insulting her appearance. Williams says a psychologist and numerous doctors told her she needed an “eye lift, ears pulled back, chin implant and breast implants.” She was also told she needed dental surgery to break and reset her jaw for a successful “makeover,” the lawsuit said. Just hours before the dental surgery was to take place, Williams was told she was being dropped from the show because the recovery time wouldn’t fit into the schedule, the lawsuit said.

Ok, is anybody else tired of these goddamn makeover shows? I’ve seen pictures of this lady … While, she’s not what I’d call beautiful, she’s also not showing up on Maury’s next I’m Too Ugly To Live episode either. Embrace your flaws…accept them…they make you you. I think, if they want these makeovers to truly be “extreme”, they should just cut the bullshit and televise lobotomies for these people…Instead of using surgery to correct your minor imperfections, we’re going to take an ice cream scoop to the part of your brain that gives a damn. ******THE MORE YOU KNOW

To be continued…

Tick tock tick tock…

News Flash:

NEW YORK (AP) – Gordon Gould, a pioneer in laser technology who coined the word “laser” and won a decades-long struggle to secure patent rights for the most commonly used type, has died. He was 85. A spokesman for his family said that, after going through a wide spectrum of emotions, they are now, “set on stunned.”

…Thanks, I’ll be here all week.

On to the crux of today’s post… 4 days and counting ’til I turn 30. This is the next big age milestone after 21 (though, the car-renting binge I went on when I turned 25 is Hertz legend) and I’m not quite sure how to…handle it. I have no clue what I want to do for the first birthday that I’ve had in awhile that lands on a weekend. I’m also wrestling with (in a steel cage) the notion of adulthood, and how I’ve been able sidestep many of its trappings up to now. Odds are I’m making WAY too big a deal out things, but hey, that’s what blogs are for (keep smiling…keep shining).

A bunch of my other comedy buddies have blogs of their own, and apparently their loyal readers have left comments…soooooooo, lemme know if anybody’s actually reading this thing or if I’m just blogging to myself.

Cool show coming up @ Wiseacre’s in Tyson’s Corner, VA next Wednesday. In lieu of the usual open mic, there’ll be a Hurricane Relief Benefit show. It’s being done in conjunction with a bunch of other clubs across the country.

To be continued…

Newport News Is Good News…

Just got back from featuring at Cozzy’s, a great little club in Newport News, VA. The crowds were good, if a touch chatty and…how shall I put it…’necky. By the way, they’re GIVING gas away in Newport News…$2.759/10 for regular…I filled up a couple super-size McDonalds cups that I’ll be selling for $2.7510/10 on the Georgia Ave. beltway off-ramp. There’s a fortune to be made in that extra tenth of a cent…so says Superman III. I killed my Saturday in Newport News at the local cineplex…I highly recommend the new Nicholas Cage vehicle, Lord of War. That’s pretty much it for right now. I still haven’t figured out the subtle art of blogging or what the hell I want this blog to be. In the meantime, I’ll try to better crystallize my thoughts for the next entry… To be continued…