In The Pendence

Hey there ‘Redheads… This installment is a quickie. I’ve got a couple things I wanted to say to no one in particular. Since no one in particular reads this blog, the message has a medium. Happy 4th of July, first of all. Go celebrate freedom. Colorful explosions set to music seems like the popular way to go. I myself will be heaving a giant crate of Lipton Iced Tea into my neighbor’s pool…let those redcoats know we still mean business.

Big thanks to Chip, Jeff, Shannon, and the amazing staff of the Baltimore Comedy Factory for a great slate of shows last weekend. Once again, Charm City treated me well. I got a chance to work with the very cool Vince Morris. ‘Twas a pleasure. Not only was he funny, but he took the time to listen to my act and gave me a great tag for a joke. And we got drunkity-drunk drunk.

Tyler Richardson was the MC for the weekend. He is a strange strange fellow. I use that adjective twice because his mission statement for the weekend was to get “some Baltimore strange”. Did I mention they changed the city motto to “Baltimore: It burns when we pee”?

By the by, belated congratulations to Erin Jackson, who made it to the semis of Last Comic Standing and got flat out robbed of a spot on the show. Really NBC? God’s Pottery over Erin? Good luck with that. Check out the clip of her set and you tell me you wouldn’t want to watch her weekly…


Irony – a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result.
He hopped two fences to get his hat and got decapitated. Not sayin’ it’s funny…just a real life example. That one’s for you, George.

In 24 hours, I’ll be in Las Vegas. With Jon Mumma, Justin Schlegel, Jay Hastings, and Sean Gabbert. Send bail money.

May the Fourth be with you…


Hey there ‘Redheads… Long time, no type. Once again, I’ve tried to stockpile interesting crap, so that when I clean out the lint trap in my head, I can knit you a proper toaster cozy. It’s sentences like that that make ya wish I waited just a bit longer… I’ve got a bunch of cool things on the comedy horizon to call your attention to:

On November 24th, I’ll be joining a gaggle of comedy compatriots on stage at the DC Improv Comedy Lounge. The show is going to be taped for Comcast Comedy Open Mic On Demand. The cavalcade includes Chris White, Jon Mumma, Justin Schlegel, Mike Way, Sean Gabbert, and many more…ok, six more. Wanna be in the audience to check out this comedy conglomerate? Click here for tickets and info.

On November 28th, Rob Maher and I will be doing our part to make sure we aren’t irretrievably awful people, and take part in the DC Firefighters Burn Foundation Benefit for Children’s Hospital at the Clarendon Grill.

On December 15th, just in time for Hannukah, I’ll be on stage at the Comedy Spot for a show that’s being called Jew Man Group. Myself, Leo Goodman, Adam Ruben, and Ben Isaac take the stage for an evening of shpilkis. We could also be called The Mensches of Comedy, or The Disappointed Mother Tour, or Cheaper Than Therapy, the list goes on. Please to be clicking here for tickets and info.

Over the weekend, I got a chance to work with two of my favorite funny folk, Erin Jackson and T-Rexx, at the Baltimore Comedy Factory. Big thanks to the staff up there for a fun couple of nights. I was a little disappointed that no one showed up in costume the whole weekend. There was one guy who looked like Kenny Rogers, but that hardly counts. A great septet of shows in Charm City was capped off by a fracas…a donnybrook…a rhubarb…a BEAT DOWN. I shall now give you the play-by-play of this impromptu UFC pay-per-view…
T-Rexx was closing his set with his classic bit about getting his retarded cousin drunk. I requested he do it. It keeps getting funnier every time I hear it. The sold out crowd was laughing along with him…except for one guy, who was sitting in the second row on stage right. He wasn’t enjoying it at all. To the point that T-Rexx said to him, “I don’t know how much it cost to get in, but it’s free to leave. Because this is going to get worse.” As he finishes up his set, I start walking toward the stage to bring him off. After he gets done plugging his DVDs, the disgruntled guy says, “Why don’t you get off the motherfucking stage, motherfucker.” An exchange of “fuck yous” was had. Then, T-Rexx hand me his jacket and steps off stage next to where the guy was sitting, and strikes a Bruce Lee pose in front of him…complete with kung-fu yowl.

Knock knock, mo fo…

Well, being drunk and belligerent, the guy stands up. He rears back to swing and, before he can get off a punch, T-Rexx hits him twice in the chest and once in the face. The guy tackles T-Rexx into a row of chairs that were quickly evacuated by the crowd. From the stage, I see T-Rexx grab the guy’s wrist and grapevine his arm with his legs. Security breaks it up and drags the guy out by his collar, leaving behind a bloody smear on T-Rexx’s pant leg. Thank you Baltimore, goodnight.

Your comedy homework is to vote for Erin Jackson on early and often…send her to Vegas.

To be continued…