Hey gang… Sorry for turning February into neglect-you-ary. I’ve been focusing my energies on gainful employment. Also, the last post about Susan Sarandon’s boobs is perhaps the most read installment of the blog to date, so I wanted to let it rack (I swear, no pun intended) up as many nose-prints on the screen as I could. Seriously, the count is up to 91, which is nothing to brag about, I know, but considering the bulk of my posts get a baker’s dozen eyeballs on it, that’s pretty significant. Even if half of the views were from Russian spam-bots, that’s still a ton. Does this mean I turn this into a fashion blog? My self-important blather doesn’t move the needle, but defending the cleavage of Hollywood royalty is just the kind of blather people seem to be clamoring for.
Before I consider a major overhaul, allow me to toot the horn on the Mild Amusement Express one more time. If you look to your immediate right, you’ll see a giant pink button (if you don’t see it, follow the link below). If you click on that button, you can then cast a vote for me, @FunnyJared, as Best Twitter Personality in the Washington City Paper’s Best of DC 2016 Reader’s Poll. I was runner-up in 2015, and I’d really like to add another winner’s widget to my wall to go along with Best Comedian from 2013. If you need some proof of my Twitteracy, here are some recent examples…
What do you think?#HillaryClinton pic.twitter.com/XahbXfJBSE
— Jared Stern (@FunnyJared) February 24, 2016
Who gets to give the dissenting eulogy? #Scalia
— Jared Stern (@FunnyJared) February 13, 2016
John Travolta is rolling over in his auditing chamber right now. #GreaseLive
— Jared Stern (@FunnyJared) February 1, 2016
.@nbcwashington correspondents now appearing live via impressionist painting. #blizzard2016 pic.twitter.com/5Gyje42OV0
— Jared Stern (@FunnyJared) January 23, 2016
Not to sound like Jeb Bush, but please vote. Polls close 3/1 at midnight, at which point I will stop bugging you about it.
Be back soon with Oscar Red Carpet coverage, I guess…