Category: swine flu

One Day At a Time…

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in comedy, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, May, pearl harbor, swine flu

Hey there ‘Redheads… Welcome to Day 1 of Blog-A-Day in May. Happy May Day. May Day is a worldwide worker’s holiday…except here in the US, which is why I’m hunting and pecking this installment at work. These bloglets are going to have a stream of consciousness flow to them.

The Nigerian lady who works in the office, and has no interior monologue, just said, “I think we’re making too big a deal out of this swine flu.” I’m going to go ahead and file that under Statements That Don’t Need To Be Said Out Loud. They actually closed a school in Rockville because of one unconfirmed case. More deaths will result from truant kids getting hit by cars, than from swine flu…just sayin’…

The other day, I saw a car with a license plate that read, “Pearl Harbor Survivor“. Besides being struck with a wave of patriotism, I found it odd that she was driving a Honda Accord. Nice to see she can forgive and forget. In my wildest dreams, the car was a surprise birthday gift.

See you tomorrow…

It Begins…

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in Baltimore Comedy Factory, comedy, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, lego, silence, swine flu

Hey there ‘Redheads… I wanted to squeeze one last installment into April, since this month has been so sparse. I do plan to pick up the slack. As some of you might remember, I am a fan of the occasional stunt blog. So, I’d like to announce my latest attempt to boost readership, Blog-A-Day in May. Last year, I tried Joke-A-Day in May, which lasted about 10 days before it sputtered and went kaput. I think I can keep this one going…for at least that long. We’ll see. So, everyday in May, you’ll get a quickie that’ll either be a random nugget or a recap from my comedy travels…basically, what you usually get, just not spaced weeks apart.

The hysteria du jour is the dreaded swine flu…the pig plague…the pork pandemic. The CDC recently quarantined three houses. One was made of straw, one was made of wood, and the other was made of brick. I’m not worried about contracting swine flu. Not because there are only 100 cases in the entire country of 300 million people, but because I’ve vaccinated myself…with 10cc of bacon fat. I latest wrinkle in this story is that Orthodox Jews have taken offense to the name “swine flu”, because pigs aren’t kosher. This makes no sense to me. Maybe if it was called “swine kampf”, then I could see why it would be offensive.

I found this little gem on YouTube the other day and I thought I’d share. Enjoy…

I’m at the Baltimore Comedy Factory this weekend with Reverend Bob Levy, from the Howard Stern Show. This kicks off my seven week comedy mini-tour. I’m in Harrisburg next weekend and the DC Improv after that. If you plan to swing by the Factory this weekend, drinks are on me…

See you tomorrow…