Hey there ‘Redheads… The last couple months since the blog whirlwind of May have been kinda slack. That’s all about to change… Welcome to Blogust. Aside from the gimmicky name, there probably won’t be any extra effort exerted on my part, but at least it sounds like I’m trying. Blogust won’t be lacking as far as stuff to blog about. This month is jam packed comedy-wise for me. It all kicked off this past weekend at Bogey’s Comedy Club just outside of Cleveland, OH.
Big thanks to Kirk and the rest of the fine folks at Bogey’s for making my first trip there a good one. I had a fun weekend with headliner, Nathan Timmel. We entertained dozens of people. Stupid summer time… C’mon, people… Why wouldn’t you want to spend your evening in a dark room, laughing at brightly lit idiots? We had fun with the people who chose to carpe noctem.
When you’re on the road, the shows are only half the fun. The other half is finding something entertaining to tick away the moments that make up a dull day. An easy way to kill a couple hours is at a movie matinee. Been there. Or maybe walk the local mall. Done that. I chose to challenge myself…to test my limits…to take a bite out of the giant burrito of life. Enter: Mike’s Place in Kent, OH. Home of The Stuanator…
The Stuanator is a double-decker cheeseburger sub, with six 1/2 pound burger patties, two kinds of cheese, french fries and curly fries, along with the usual fixin’s. Only 11 people have attempted to finish this behemoth in the allotted 30 minutes. To the victor go the spoils of a free t-shirt, a free sandwich, and immortality…until you keel over from the coronary. Only 2 have succeeded. I’m a glutton for…gluttony, so I figured I’d give it a go. When I announced that I’d be attempting the Stuanator, I became a celebrity inside the restaurant. People were snapping shots of me with their camera phones. One lady asked me to sign her menu. I had no idea what I was in for…
This was no sandwich. It was a space station. I started strong, despite my opponent being fresh and hot. My pace was slowed once I realized the enormity of the task in front of me. Absolutely everything had to be finished, down to the last pickle, for the challenge to be complete. Despite the swell of inspiration from witnessing the Nathan’s Hot Dog contest a scant month ago, and the words of encouragment from random gawking patrons, I was outmatched by this Das Boot of a submarine sandwich. I could feel my extremities getting tingly, and my field of vision started to narrow…
I decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and I threw in the napkin. My eyes, and the sandwich for that matter, were bigger than my stomach. The owner, in his benevolence, gave me a free t-shirt for the attempt and they’re going to put my picture on the wall. May it serve as a warning to the next brave soul who might dare to plunge his fork into the heart of this Herculean hoagie. And no, I didn’t get a to-go box…
Yes, Mike’s Place now holds a special place in my heart…and colon. Keep an eye peeled in the weeks to come, the show Man Vs. Food on the Travel Channel will be making its way down to Mike’s in the Fall to try and tame this hulk of a hero.
More blog soon…
JARED STERN'S ONLINE COMEDY CUBICLE 