Category: birds

A Murder/Suicide of Crows

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in birds, comedy, funny, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, unexplained

Hey there ‘Redheads… Thanks for feigning interest for a fourth day in a row. I have to admit, it’s tough coming up with stuff for this thing on a daily basis. Or maybe I’m just lazy. That’s probably it. Well, to help back that up, I offer you a video to fill your mild amusement needs for today. A video that fills me with hope. Please enjoy this sketch from the BBC show, The One Ronnie, that compares favorably to another classic British sketch, The Dead Parrot Sketch from Monty Python…

Speaking of dead parrots, is anyone else concerned about the recent rash of birds losing the fight with gravity recently? They’re taking dives like they were paid off by Don King (there’s a timely reference for ya). What gives? I’ve heard multiple explanations, from military microwave testing to bird cults, but none of it makes much sense. All of the medical examiners’ reports say that the birds, “showed signs of trauma”. Yeah, that’s what happens when you FALL FROM THE SKY. All of it seems like an M. Night Shyamalan rough draft. Here’s something creepy. In that town in Arkansas, where the first mass swan dive occurred, the population is only 4800 people. 5000 birds died. That’s more dead birds than live people. Enjoy your bucket of KFC. I’ll do some more investigating and get back to you.

See you tomorrow…

Blogustus Gloop

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in Bennigan's, birds, Blogust, comedy, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, Solly's Tavern, Top Shelf

Hey there ‘Redheads… Welcome to Blogust. Where I once again sacrifice quality for quantity so that you can have more digital fat to chew on. Just a couple nuggets for you.

First, an update from the last installment. I’ll be a part of the Top Shelf festivities on Thursday, the 7th. The comedy marathon starts at 7:00. I’ll be going on somewhere between 9 and 10:30. It’s only $5 for a a massive evening of comedy. You’ll see some of the finest comics in DC and beyond…and I’ll be loitering around those comics. If you can’t make it on Thursday, then come on down for equally impressive line-ups in both talent and scope on Friday and Saturday. It all goes down at Solly’s U St. Tavern, courtesy of the folks at DCComedy4Now. Think of it as the $5 foot-long of comedy…chow down.

When a bird dies, and he goes to birdie heaven, and becomes a birdie angel, does it get arms? This is the kind of crap you get when I’m desperate to fill space.

Bennigan’s is closing. The yard sales in front of those places are going to kick some serious ass. Looking for a trombone, a sled, or an old-timey barber’s pole? When they strip the walls at Bennigan’s, they’ll probably find the Ark of the Covenant. I give you now, the description of one of the deadliest burgers I ever ate at a Bennigan’s…The Wheelhouse…

A juicy, mouth-watering burger topped with a savory fried cheese wheel, fresh parmesan cheese, and zesty marinara sauce.

If you finish it before your heart stops, it’s FREE. Bennigan’s, we hardly knew ye…

To be continued…