Hey hey ‘Redheads… Well, Blogust is just about over. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed doing it…to you. Three things I wanted to hit on real quick, then I’ll let you go about your day. September is barreling toward us and with it comes the sweet arrival of the three greatest initials in sports: NFL. Soon, the oblong hole in my soul will once again be plugged with pigskin…real and fantasy. I had my first fantasy draft (of 4) for the league of comedy people that I’m in (with locals Mike Shader and Kelly Terranova)…defending Super Bowl champ…just saying is all. I had an ok draft…I missed out on Reggie Bush because I wasn’t looking at the right part of the draft board…here’s my starting line-up for 2008…Shit’s Crazy:

QB: Tom Brady
WR: Plaxico Burress
WR: Laverneous Coles
RB: Maurice Jones-Drew
RB: Selvin Young
TE: Jeremy Shockey
K: Robbie Gould
D/ST: Jaguars

I also took a flier on rookie WR DeSean Jackson, who’ll hopefully be a deep threat for Philly. I’ve got three more drafts in the next couple days. Hopefully, I can once again latch on to Tom Brady’s coat-tails and water ski to victory. Let the fake games begin.

I’m worried about the YouTube viewing habits of you guys and gals. You are ignoring well written genuinely funny material in favor of trainwreck-spotting. I offer exhibit A. This great sketch that Chris White and I did has 63 views…

(by the way, I’m available to ominously voice weddings and bar mitzvahs)

Meanwhile, this dreck has 25,385 views…

C’mon, people… I admit schadenfreude is fun for the whole family, but start giving non-crotch-shot video a chance, eh? Sheesh.

This weekend begins four straight of getting laughed at by people. I’ll be kicking off this micro-tour at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone. If you’re up that way, come check out that show…we’ll hang.

I’d like to close with this: If you pay money to see Disaster Movie this weekend, we can’t be friends anymore. Demand better, people.

To be continued…

Taxation Representation

Hey there ‘Redheads… Happy St. Patty’s Day to one and all. Here’s hoping the technicolor yawn from your green beer binge is an easy clean-up. I didn’t wear any green today, but I was envious of everyone who did, so my psyche was Irish.

Today’s installment is a call to arms…to fingers, actually. I need to mobilize my legion of loyal readers to the noblest of endeavors. Voting…in a YouTube contest…for me. Yes, the tax jokes I’ve foisted upon you in the last two installments have been performed, recorded, and uploaded. Now, all they need is your blind clickable approval. Here’s how the finished product turned out…

Yes, I’m a shill. I’m over it. Here’s the vital voting information you’ll be needing to help make my YouTube dreams come true…

1. Go to
2. Click on VOTE
3. Type “Jared” into the video search
4. Click on my video (it’ll say “laughtrack” next to it)
5. Vote…lots…seriously, tempt carpal tunnel

Fly, my winged monkeys!! Vote like the wind!!

As a reward for your putting up with my antics, I have some cool audio and funny video for you to cram into your various sensory inputs. Here are some kick-ass mash-ups I found in the last couple days…

Sledgehammer & the Cherry Tree
Mash Me Amadeus
Jenny’s Superstitious
Funky Goes To Hollywood

There you go. Music to vote by. Also, I got this video from my buddy Christian aka Skinnen Bones MC. For the last 8 months, Christian has been working at an American theme park in South Korea. Here’s the email I got from him last week…

Hi everyone, I’ve had a blast living in South Korea the last eight months. My budddies and I just shot a music video for a song we wrote and recorded called “Kickin’ it in Geumchon.” Geumchon is a small city 15 minutes from where we live. Check out the video to see what our life in Korea is like. Hope you’re well.

I’m Jared Stern and I approve this message.

To be continued…