Category: pictures

Leggo My Ego, Part Deux

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in comedy, funny, Glen Echo, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, humor, Jared Stern, pictures

Hey there, ‘Redheads… Sorry for the minor hiccup in postings. As I mentioned last time, my schedule was going to be hectic and the streak might suffer. Technically, it got snapped when I went to Mardi Gras, so I’m not too worried about it. Anyway, I’m back and I’ve got a heaping helping of me to go around.

Roughly two weeks ago, I did a professional photo shoot from a Groupon that was about to expire. Almost makes it sound like I got glamour shots done at a local mall, but this was a real deal on-location photo shoot in Glen Echo park, with the hopes that it might produce some dynamic promotional photos to replace my almost nine year old black and white headshots. Well, I got the pictures over the weekend and I’d like to run my top five of the batch past you to maybe get some feedback. Besides, I do enjoy looking at pictures of myself. As Al Pacino said in Devil’s Advocate, “Vanity is definitely my favorite sin.” So, put on your water wings and let’s take a dip in Lake Me. In no particular order, here are a couple of my favorites of the bunch…
This is my answer to Zoolander’s Blue Steel. Note the combination of the smirk, slight squint, and smolder.

I brought a prop with me on the shoot. An empty bottle of a wine called “Irony.” No, it’s not a chardonnay and no, there wasn’t a fly in it.

That’s right, folks. I’m a rebel, but I’m also lazy. I’m breaking rules, but I’m not climbing stairs.

I’m a big fan of this shot, because of the lines created in the blurry background. Really makes my nose pop right out at you. Also, as my friend Mia put it, it makes me look, “wry, but also approachable.”

You can find the rest of the pics on my Facebook fan page, conveniently located on your right. Please feel free to give some feedback. In case you haven’t guessed, I enjoy a compliment.

See you Tuesday.

Weekend Roundup

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in Blessing of the Fleets, comedy, Guinness Book of World Records, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, mascots, pictures, Sakura Matsuri Japanese Street Festival, trivia

G’morning, ‘Redheads… I’m bright-eyed, bushy tailed, and I’m lying to you about those first two things, but I’m at the very least awake and able to type. I have to get this blog on the books early today, because my evening is spoken for and I can’t guarantee I’ll be home by midnight to keep the streak alive. Why so busy on a Monday night, you ask? Well, starting at noon today, the trivia arm of the entertainment company I work with, District Entertainment, is attempting to break the world record for the Longest Quizmaster Marathon at Caddie’s in Bethesda. The previous record is 32 hours and 15 minutes, so if all goes well, we’ll be finishing up tomorrow night at 8:00ish. I’m not the lead question asker, but I’ll be there assisting after I take my nose off the grindstone. If you want to wrangle a team to try to win the top prize of $1000, click here for all the details.

Since I don’t have a Monday’s worth of blather to blog about, I need to tap into my weekend reserves. On Saturday, I met up with pals, Chris, Allyson, and Eric to check out the Blessing of the Fleets at the Navy Memorial, where water from the seven seas is poured into the fountain in a ceremony to make sure our naval forces sail smoothly this year. Afterwards, the crowd was treated to Navy Bean soup, prepared by the White House Mess, which, with a little Texas Pete’s hot sauce, was delicious. They also gave out boxes of Presidential M&M’s. Needless to say, I went through the line twice. Before the ceremony, we got a picture with the Naval Academy mascot, Bill the Goat.We figured we had filled our costume photo quota, but as we walked through Penn Quarter, we ran into famed crime dog, McGruff.We felt safer knowing he was on whatever case there was to be on. Sniffing the butt of justice. When you get one picture with a mascot, it’s fun and random. Once we got two, it became a mission to complete the set. Luckily for us, the Sakura Matsuri Japanese Street Festival was going on nearby. Not only did it seem like a fun thing to check out, but we knew it would be a treasure trove of freaks in costume. It did not disappoint…We also missed the chance to get a picture with a Japanese NASCAR driver. A novelty to be sure, but he didn’t meet our arbitrary qualifications of a cartoonishly large head and unblinking eyes. Aside from the anime, there was all manner of Japanese culture spread out over several blocks, from calligraphy to samurai sword demonstrations. Well worth the $5 admission. And all of the proceeds went toward tsunami relief, so we could feel good about ourselves to go along with our sushi. Good times.

See you Tuesday. Or at the big trivia event tonight.

Picture Page

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in comedy, Cracker Barrel, Hooters, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, Michael Jackson, North Carolina, pictures

Hey there, ‘Redheads… They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, then this blog will contain roughly five thousand words. I was going through my camera after telling you about my trip to Calvert Cliffs, and I realized that I had a bunch of random shots on here that I’ve never shared. Mostly things I found odd or amusing during my comedy road trips. So, in the interest of padding the blog like a 14 year old girl’s bra on her first date, here we go…A typo? At a Hooters? I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here. Either it was a typo or there was a Mothers Against Drunk Driving event going on. Everybody else seemed all for it, however.

I call this one, “Sweet Victory, Sweet Tea.”

Here’s a creepy wall of puppets I found at J*R Discount Outlet that should adequately haunt your nightmares.

No comment.

Here’s a receipt I got at a Donato’s in Lake Norman, NC. Check out how the girl behind the counter chose to spell my name. JARADD. I don’t mind that she mixed up the vowels, but what’s up with the double D? I’ve never seen anyone stutter at the end of someone’s name before. It looks like I’m a henchman in a skateboard gang. I’ve seen many misspellings of my name, but I’ve never seen it turned into a Picasso like that before.

And, finally, here’s a prize that was available at the North Carolina State Fair. A stuffed Michael Jackson. Let’s get beyond the irony of winning a stuffed MJ for your child to cuddle with. I’ve never seen a stuffed version of an ACTUAL PERSON. Characters, sure, but last time I checked, Michael Jackson wasn’t fictional. Happy Black History Month, by the way. Stay classy, North Carolina. Sheesh.

See you Thursday…