Category: spelling

Blog… B-L-O-G

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in bee, comedy, Comedy Zone, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, May, spelling

Hey there ‘Redheads… It’s Day 28 of Blog-A-Day in May, and I’m feeling downright geusioleptic. Yeah, I just got done watching the National Spelling Bee, which emanated live from the Hyatt in downtown DC. You know that has to be a rockin’ afterparty. Half the fun of tuning into the bee is to watch these socially handicapped kids as they take a tension-filled stroll down Sesame Street with Asperger’s syndrome. The other half is to watch Tom “Will Host For Food” Bergeron fill with patter that makes Fred Willard in Best In Show look like Jim Lehrer. Sorry about that last sentence…this video sympathizes with you…

Moving on… I think to help prep these kids for their high school futures, they should get an atomic wedgie as a consolation prize upon elimination. I hope these kids can adjust and eke out a passable social life. It’ll get awkward when one of the guys is on a date and asks the girl for her country of origin. If “Can I use you in a sentence?” qualifies as a pickup line, you better learn to use loneliness in a sentence.

If you’re in the Greensboro, NC area this weekend, come check me out at the Greensboro Comedy Zone. Two shows Friday and Saturday. Click the link for tix and info.

See you Friday…

Flaky

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in comedy, funny, Hayden Panettiere, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, May, spelling, tattoo

Hey there ‘Redheads… Welcome to Day 26 of Blog-A-Day in May. One thing I pride myself on, is better than average grammar and spelling. Sure, I have the crutch of spellcheck to lean on, but I still spell pretty good. Comes from learning to type on an Apple IIc…before spellcheck existed. It also helps when you make words up. Anywho, enough of me beating my syntactical chest. Today, I spotted two glaring errors that are pretty tough to let slide.

The first comes to us from DC’s own Washington Natinals…

Once again, they stopped just shy of misspelling DC, but this time they at least tried to distract from the blunder with…a grinning bobblehead.

You remember President Teddy Rossevelt. He came right before President Kraft and right after President McCheese. This club has some mental block against O’s…oddly enough, they suck slightly more than the O’s.

The other spelling misstep also came with a built-in distraction, as it was inked on Hayden Panetierre…

HOLLYWOOD – Hayden Panettiere may be regretting the tattoo running down her left side. The 19-year-old actress has a tattoo which reads “Vivere senza rimipianti” – an Italian phrase. The only problem is the tattoo is misspelled. Instead of “rimipianti” the actual spelling should be “rimpianti.”


And the fly in her chardonnay? The tattoo means, “Live without regrets”. Kinda like when some douchebag gets an Asian character on his arm because it looks cool. He thinks it means “Flying Dragon”, but anyone who can read Mandarin knows it means “Chicken Fried Rice”. It helps that she’s hot and most people can’t read Italian that isn’t on an Olive Garden menu.

See ya tomorrow…