Post Sportem

Hey there, ‘Redheads… Happy Cinco de Mayo to one and all. It’s always nice when it falls on May the 5th. I hope everyone is enjoying your day with a hint of lime. Just please don’t squeeze that lime into the paper cut that has been sliced between the fingers of the DC sports landscape these past two days. It is turning into a monumentally shitty week for DC area sports. First, the Caps, the city’s only hope for a championship, laid a giant turd on the ice and got swept out of the playoffs by a hockey team from Florida. Florida? I’m not sure they even have ice in their arena. It’s just cold plexiglass. Their zamboni is a guy on a tricycle with a bottle of Windex. It’s kinda like getting beat in beach volleyball by a team of Eskimos.

Now, word has come out of the University of Maryland that not only has their best player, Jordan Williams, decided to jump ship for the NBA, but coach Gary Williams is retiring. That’s a Williams a day. As a Terp for life (I have a key chain to prove it), this sucks out loud. When I saw the news on the ESPN crawl, I was so despondent I almost set fire to my couch. I understand that Gary was probably getting tired of the game that college basketball has become, trying to squeeze everything he could from players that didn’t have what it took to leave early and go to the NBA. I’m actually curious which came first. Did Gary decide to retire because Jordan left prematurely or did Jordan bail because he found out Gary was leaving? Either way, it’s a bad scene for the Terps.

For as long as I was there (and I was there awhile… just short of tenure), it was Garyland. The students fed off of his fuming energy. It won’t be the same without him chewing out the bench when a player on the floor makes a dumb mistake, threatening to cut off a pinky if they do the same thing. Not only is this bad for UMD, but it’s catastrophic for his dry cleaner. I hope that guy doesn’t have any gambling debts, because that business is going under. He probably bought a 40 foot racing sloop and named it Gary’s Pits. When Gary Williams broke a sweat, they had to sand bag the sideline. One of those kids with the mops just followed him around during the game. Hopefully, the school will do the right thing an build a commemorative fountain, with the water cascading down his back. We’ll miss you, Gary. Thanks for the memories, for the tirades, and for the title.

See you soon. Maybe not Friday, but soon.


Bill Blogworthy

Hey there ‘Redheads… It’s Day 13 of Blog-A-Day in May and, unfortunately, it’s an unlucky 13 for the Washington Capitals, whose playoff hopes were flattened and melted into the ice by the zamboni of defeat.

Lucky for me, I wasn’t available to witness the slapshot in the teeth the Caps took tonight, because I was at the Warner theater witnessing the majesty of rock and the mystery of roll, courtesy of Britian’s loudest rock band, Spinal Tap. More specifically, their alter-ids, Harry Shearer, Michael McKean, and Christopher Guest. They were doing a largely acoustic set of songs from A Mighty Wind, Waiting For Guffman, and, of course, This Is Spinal Tap

For those about to rock *urp* We salute you…

The show, as seen through a cataract…

Amidst the exodus of goofy white folk…

‘Twas a great show. Michael McKean’s wife, Annette O’Toole even made an appearance to do some guest vocals. One of the funniest bits they did was reading verbatim the material that network censors found objectionable from This Is Spinal Tap. Here’s a bit of that…

Come laugh at me at the DC Improv this weekend, with Roastmaster General, Jeff Ross.

‘Til tomorrow…


Hey there ‘Redheads… The Blog-A-Day in May train keeps a-rollin’ 11 days strong. It’s nearly as impressive as the Washington Capitals’ playoff run. I just got finished watching the Cardiac Caps cheat sudden death once again to force another game 7 at Verizon Center on Wednesday. If the Caps keep this up, the fans won’t have any hearts left to break if things go south. I don’t know where your sports loyalties lie, but you can’t do much better than the NHL playoffs right now.

While watching the game, I noticed that one of my favorite sports names is on the Penguins roster…Miroslav Satan. I’m not rooting for him, but that’s a bad ass bit of stitching on the back of that jersey.

Just a quickie today…see you tomorrow…

Six Symbol

Hey there ‘Redheads… I’ve only got an hour left to get Day 6 of Blog-A-Day in May in the books before the clock strikes midnight. Three quick things to share. Just got back from watching the Caps game at my buddy Greg’s place. Simeon Varlamov is a brick wall with a head. He’s the only reason the Caps didn’t get outright embarrassed tonight. The second period looked like a twenty-minute long Penguin power play…seriously, can hockey be played half-rink?

Before the game, we had dinner at one of my favorite little restaurants, Roy’s Place. Right in the heart of old town Gaithersburg. They offer over 200 sandwiches on the menu. I indulged in my favorite, The Dracula… Two Polish sausages wrapped in bacon, with broiled provolone cheese, buried in cole slaw & Russian dressing on French bread. Yum-a-dum dum. Yes, the heart of old town Gaithersburg is kinda plaquey.

Finally, I wanted to share a short exchange I had with my friend Sam (short for Samantha) at one of my weekly poker games last night. Sam can be described as spunky. I forget how the conversation got there, but she admitted to having a Tinkerbell t-shirt. I remarked that didn’t shock me in the slightest. She said, “Because I constantly zip around the room.” And I added, “And because we clap when we believe you exist.”

See you tomorrow…