Category: tattoo

Flaky

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in comedy, funny, Hayden Panettiere, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, May, spelling, tattoo

Hey there ‘Redheads… Welcome to Day 26 of Blog-A-Day in May. One thing I pride myself on, is better than average grammar and spelling. Sure, I have the crutch of spellcheck to lean on, but I still spell pretty good. Comes from learning to type on an Apple IIc…before spellcheck existed. It also helps when you make words up. Anywho, enough of me beating my syntactical chest. Today, I spotted two glaring errors that are pretty tough to let slide.

The first comes to us from DC’s own Washington Natinals…

Once again, they stopped just shy of misspelling DC, but this time they at least tried to distract from the blunder with…a grinning bobblehead.

You remember President Teddy Rossevelt. He came right before President Kraft and right after President McCheese. This club has some mental block against O’s…oddly enough, they suck slightly more than the O’s.

The other spelling misstep also came with a built-in distraction, as it was inked on Hayden Panetierre…

HOLLYWOOD – Hayden Panettiere may be regretting the tattoo running down her left side. The 19-year-old actress has a tattoo which reads “Vivere senza rimipianti” – an Italian phrase. The only problem is the tattoo is misspelled. Instead of “rimipianti” the actual spelling should be “rimpianti.”


And the fly in her chardonnay? The tattoo means, “Live without regrets”. Kinda like when some douchebag gets an Asian character on his arm because it looks cool. He thinks it means “Flying Dragon”, but anyone who can read Mandarin knows it means “Chicken Fried Rice”. It helps that she’s hot and most people can’t read Italian that isn’t on an Olive Garden menu.

See ya tomorrow…

JOKE/BIT/PREMISE/TAG-A-DAY IN MAY 2

by jaredsterncomedy, posted in comedy, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Jared Stern, May, monkey, tattoo

Happy Friday, ‘Redheads… Wow, two of these in a row. Merely coincidence. For those of you with money on the line, the over/under for when I lapse on this lark is 5.

Sidenote: I’m pissed at myself today. For the whole week, in an effort to decrease my intake of unhealthy crap, I’ve sworn off soda and beer for water. I’m told this could help me drop a pound or two and make my insides less of a cauldron of filth. Well, after resisting temptation all week, I folded like a cheap card table and sucked down a vanilla Frosty Float from Wendy’s. Delicious, yes…and evil.

And now, JOKE/BIT/PREMISE/TAG-A-DAY IN MAY… It comes to us from a friend on mine, who sent me this picture…

I originally thought this was a picture of her tattooed tummy. Turns out it’s just a nutty picture she felt like sending. As you can see, the tattooee (Luke Skywalker’s hometown) has turned the belly button into a monkey’s butt hole. I have a rule that I try to live my life by, which is this: Never have more than one visible anus on your body at a time.

‘Til tomorrow…