Hey there, ‘Redheads… It’s the last installment of ’09. I really wish I had something worthwhile and at least knee deep to impart to you as we hurtle into the next decade, but I gave up on trying to be profound a long time ago. I am amatuerfound, at best. I’d also like to be able to reflect back on the year that was, but my mind has the retention of an etch-a-sketch in the hands of an epileptic during a Pink Floyd laser show. In order to reminisce, one must first be able to…minisce. So, let’s discuss the year ahead, 2010. Resolutions perhaps? Well, there are a lot of things I’d like to accomplish. The usual stuff. Advance the comedy career, look less like a tub of goo, blah blah blah. It’s all talk right now, as it has been every year around this time. What I’m saying is, my resolutions aren’t exactly 1080p. One thing I do plan to do is to streamline the blog a bit and make the entries more concentrated and more frequent. I aspire to daily, but let’s take baby new year steps. If you think about it, blogs are the magazines of the next decade, if they weren’t already. Don’t expect a swimsuit issue, but you won’t get those annoying subscription cards, neither.
Maybe I’ll finally write the mediocre screenplay that’s been stewing in my head for all these years. It’s the classic struggle of good vs. evil, with a plucky band of heroes up against unimaginable odds. If I can find a way to shoehorn vampires into it, I think it’ll be worthy of an MTV Movie Award. What I’m trying to say is, dare to dream, people. Or you could just pick random words out of a bingo ball tumbler and write a movie around that, like these guys did…
I hope we finally get some cool sci-fi stuff to finally become reality in 2010. Not that pocket-sized computers aren’t cool, but I was told we’d have hoverboards by 2015 and I want to have a year or so to enjoy them before the impending Mayan apocalypse. Let’s get cracking, science.
Thanks for taking a couple minutes out of your year to check out the blog. Let’s do it again in ’10. See you next year…
JARED STERN'S ONLINE COMEDY CUBICLE 