Death Blossom

Hey there ‘Redheads… Well, it appears Spring has finally sprung, and with it comes nature’s money shot, pollen. Usually, the only way pollen affects me begins and ends with it turning my car into a yellow canvas for people to write “WASH ME” on it. This time it appears global warming has brought on a mutated super strain of this crap which has reduced me to a sniffly, sneezy mess. Mother Nature is a yellow, powdery WHORE. My nasal passages are EN FUEGO and a Fantasia broomstick bucket brigade of boogers (alliteration, baby) has its hands full trying to douse the inferno. So, I’m writing this minus the sense of smell…if a joke has gone bad, I can’t tell. That being said, on to the blossom of bloggery

Congratulations to Aparna, Mike Way, and Jermaine Fowler for bringing the heat to an already sweltering DC Improv showcase the other night. Big ups also go to Hampton and Katie Riffey, who both gave fine showings as well. Jim Marsdale got robbed. It was swell to see the DC comedy community come out in force to support the participants. One conspicuous absence was Mr. Jon Mumma. He should’ve been there, if for no other reason than to beat back the advances Jim Marsdale was making toward his wife, Amy. I was also hoping to talk to him about some of the big upsets that have the going on in the UFC. Not the least of which was this gem…

That was Mirko CroCop getting o-fucking-bliterated. One kick to the head and he wilts like a hot house flower. Granted, a kick like that would send an average person’s head into the third row, but CroCop was supposed to be an unstoppable machine, a la the Terminator…or Sanjaya. Seeing him get crushed like that is like seeing the Globetrotters lose on free throws. Not bloody likely. Jim Marsdale got robbed.

For those of you itching for a Jared fix, you’ve got plenty of chances to see me at a venue near you. Thursday, I’ll be in Columbia, MD at the recently reborn Taglines with fellow merry-makers, Mark Matusof and Mike Shader. Friday, I’ll be back at the Arlington Drafthouse, hosting a night of sketch comedy with the Late Night Players. And on Saturday, I’ll be at Ned Devine’s in Sterling for their weekly comedy night. 3 chances to experience the magic…I’ll be pulling jokes out of my ass.

If you’re hankering for more blog meat, you’ll be happy to know that top men in the blog archives have unearthed an installment that got lost to technical difficulty until now. A glitch in blogger forced me to put it on MySpace, floundering in obscurity. And it’s a dandy…it recaps my 31st birthday weekend. So stick a candle in something and enjoy…

To be continued…

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