So Goddamn Sixy…

Hey there ‘Redheads… Before I get things started, I wanted to let you, my loyal readers (play along), know that I’ve stepped back from the ledge I was so precariously perched on in the last installment. I think this picture best describes things…

Married To The Sea

You take the delirious highs with the soul flattening lows…more often than not, it averages out to a big bowl of okay. Besides, I’ve reached another imaginary milestone in my trivial pursuit. I’m six. Yes, it was the last weekend in February 2002 that my buddy Bill and I trekked up I-95 to the open mic at Winchester’s in Baltimore. The club was a hole in the wall, but it was home to a close knit comedy community…it was like Cheers, with health code violations. So, six years doing stand-up. In Jerry Seinfeld’s documentary, Comedian, he said that your years in comedy are equivalent to a person of the same age. At this age, I say the darndest things and farts are hilarious. Here’s to six more…months.

For those of you clamoring to see me locally, mark this down on your calendars. March 26th-30th, I’ll be hosting a slate of shows at the DC Improv with Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock. Now, quit your clamoring.

Belated condolences on the passing of one of the best open mics in the area, The Laughing Lizard. I never had a bad time there. They always managed to draw a crowdesque audience and the fun house mirrors behind the stage made the jokes seem larger than they appeared. Hopefully, Tyler and company will be able to find a new venue for similar shenanigans.

And now, the news…
Alabama: Birmingham – The state unveiled a $1 million ad campaign aimed at scaring teens away from methamphetamine with images of strung out addicts with rotten teeth.
The budget was originally bigger, but they cut costs by using production stills from Flavor of Love 3.

California: Modesto – Angela Nellany was sentenced to two years in prison after pleading no contest for trying to kill her estranged husband. Prosecutors said she left a soda can full of wasps inside her husbands truck. Court records said her husband is deathly allergic to wasp stings.
It’s not all bad news for Angela. The video of the attack won her the $10,000 prize on America’s Funniest Murder Attempts.

Nebraska: Omaha – Police say a 4-year-old girl showed them how to smoke marijuana from a joint, a pipe, and a bong – techniques she learned from her mother.
Police suspected something was wrong when she polished off four sleeves of Thin Mints at snack time. Her kindergarten class voted her Best Show and Tell Ever.

Enough of that. You have some comedy homework this weekend. On Saturday, check out two international raconteurs, Larry Poon and Jim Marsdale, as they bring their comedy stylings to the intimate stage of the DC Improv Comedy Lounge. On Sunday, also in the lounge, a massive comedy conga line shakes its collective groove thang. Erin Jackson, Ryan Conner, Chris White, Erik Myers, Jason Weems, Jon Mumma, Justin Schlegel, Seaton Smith, Aparna Nancherla, Kojo Mante, and Rob Maher will showcase for a chance to be a part of the Just For Laughs and Great American comedy festivals. Click the link to get your tickets.

To be continued…

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