Idol, a Try

Hey there, ‘Redheads… On Tuesday, I offered you a peek into the future of reality competition shows. An innocent looking Luvs commercial…

It’s a metaphor for all of these shows. We judge the crap that comes out of people. And the one that mirrors the Luvs commercial the most is the recently revamped American Idol. I will admit that I only caught a very brief bit of the show last night. Thankfully, it was on DVR so I could beep boop past all of the self-aggrandizing introductions of the new judges, right to the auditions. That’s the meat of this first wave of episodes that we judgmental jackals drool over. We delight in watching the deluded masses get a reality check and get told that their years of training by singing in the shower hasn’t prepared them for super stardom. When they introduced the new panel, my first thought was, “Wow, Kara DioGuardi looks like shit.” Turns out that was Steven Tyler. Idol had a tough job of restoring the great balance of mean and overly nice/batshit crazy that Simon and Paula provided. Well, they got it half right. Now batting for batshit crazy is Steven Tyler, who looks and sounds like Gary Busey in drag. And in the role of overly nice, we have Jenny from the block. Essentially, they cut Paula in half (lithium poured out) and, like a Fantasia broomstick, both halves grabbed a bucket and began stumbling around. Randy is still there, but only so people can play the “dog” drinking game. The panel is now nice and batshit crazy without the harsh truth to pop the bubbles. The monster has had its teeth pulled and its meds doubled. Like I said, I saw about five minutes through my drooping eyelids, so maybe I just need to give it an awake and alert chance before I pass judgment, but where’s the fun in that?

Tonight is the home stretch of Magooby’s world record comedy marathon. I’m on at 8:00pm. The show is FREE. They just ask that you donate to Special Olympics. Get some bulk laughter and watch comedy history get made.

See you there…

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