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A couple more big dates to add to your comedy calendars (if you happen to live near Greensboro, NC or Bloomington, IN):

Nov. 22nd, I’m back headlining the Idiot Box in Greensboro, NC! I had a great time at the North Carolina Comedy Fest in September and I can’t wait to get back there to bask in the laughs.

Dec. 5th & 6th, I’m schlepping out to the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, IN for four shows with one of my comedy heroes, Emo Philips! If you’ve never experienced the odd brilliance of Emo, do yourself a favor and check out a show.

Think of it as comedy tourism. See you there… or there.

I’ve got some fun comedy trips coming up in September, and if you live in or around Greensboro, NC or Georgetown, MA, then you can get in on the fun!

I’m heading back to the North Carolina Comedy Festival for a couple of shows and to connect with like-minded mirth makers from around the country. It all goes down at the Idiot Box, from 9/11-14. I’ll be performing on Friday (7pm) & Sunday (11:30am), but every show will be stacked with hilarious comics. Do yourself a favor and check it out. And if you can’t make it to Greensboro, the whole thing is being streamed on Twitch!

Then, on 9/27, I head up to Georgetown, MA to headline a show at a goat farm. I’ll be kidding around at Goats To Go. There will be goats and alpacas frolicking among the audience, so come watch as I get heckled by adorable farm animals.

I’ve got a couple big weekends coming up:

August 8th & 9th, I’m back headlining the Dickens Parlour Theatre in Delaware! That was tons of fun back in February, and I can’t wait to see what it’s like in-season.

August 22nd & 23rd, I’m headlining Give A Hoot Comedy Club in Gaithersburg! It’s my first chance to headline a local club and I’m gonna need my in-town people to show up for this. All my friends who live out that way, PICK A NIGHT and let’s make this a party.

Thanks to everyone who voted in the Washington City Paper Best Of DC 2025 Reader’s Poll. You guys know how to make a guy feel perpetually special. My unique blend of egotism and neurotic self-doubt won’t let me truly accept the mantle, but I won’t turn it down either. That’s three in a row now, so I can’t deny the trend.

You guys also made your voices heard in the Best Local Podcaster category, giving the crown to Between Two Sterns. So, put your money where your votes are and check me out at a venue near you as I attempt to summit your lofty expectations.

If you haven’t already, BUY MY NEW BOOK: Seventeen Hundred Esoteric Syllables About Yo Mama! One hundred Yo Mama jokes in Haiku form. I’m extremely proud of this very silly thing that my co-author and I created. It’s fun for the whole family, but mostly for yo mama. Please give it 5 stars, then 7 stars, then 5 more stars.

It’s that time again, where I walk the tightrope of self-delusion and self-deprecation to beseech you to validate my ridiculous city-wide antics. This year, we’re going for three in a row. Hey, nothing much matters anymore, so why not take part in an election that might bring one particular person a fleeting moment of joy. So, if you would, Vote for Jared Stern as Best Comedian in DC. I’ll be firm, but fair.

A couple years ago, I had a realization that Haiku and Yo Mama jokes both start with five syllables. That idea percolated in my head and I wrote a couple of these ridiculous mash-ups out… and then things started to snowball, and then I brought my super talented buddy John Irons onto the project. Between the two of us, we cranked out one hundred Yo Mama Haiku for your enjoyment… and hopefully the enjoyment of a couple million other people. The tone is clever and silly, perfect for all ages, and a great gift for yo mama. It’ll be available soon, so stay tuned. For now, here’s a taste:

For those of you within shouting distance of the First State, I’ve got a double shot of diversion coming up. I’m headlining two shows in Delaware on Feb. 21st & 22nd! On the 21st I’ll be at the Dickens Parlour Theater in Ocean View. And on the 22nd I’ll be at Dream Big Performing Arts Center in Delmar. Pick one and let’s have some fun.

I’m stoked to be returning to The Stoltz Listening Room in the Avalon Theater on September 14th! I’ll be headlining two shows and I’m bringing my funny friends Jim Meyer and Ryan Finch with me. You don’t want to miss this good time. Avoid the crippling FOMO by clicking here for tix: 7:00pm or 9:30pm.