Hey there ‘Redheads… Wish this blog a mazel tov. I’m an uncle. On November 1st, my sister squeezed out a 7 1/2 pound, 21 inch, bouncing baby boy…
Until the bris on Wednesday, he remains nameless. Although, after spending the day with him on Sunday, I think an appropriate name would be Scrunchyface McPoopsalot. Not exactly a biblical name, but wouldn’t that book be a better read if it was? Whichever name is bestowed upon him, it falls upon me as his Crazy Uncle Jared to give him a new nickname just about every time I see him (see above). Unfortunately, the day he’s giveth a name is the day a piece of his winky gets taketh away. I wish I were making up the fact that the bris will be taking place at a kosher deli. I hope they realize they’re naming a child, not a sandwich. Apparently, the mohel moonlights. Once he’s done shaving the brisket, it’s on to the snippin’. Hey, who’s hungry?
Also, thanks to you, the loyal readers for pushing the blog past the 7000 hits mark. I’ve tried to spruce the place up to keep you coming back for 7000 more. You’ll note the addition of 3 video links, including the YouTube hit GUYS WATCHING 24, the most recent collaboration with Chris White NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE, and a comically acclaimed test of mental endurance that I dare you to sit all the way through (“I just got through the whole thing and I feel sick, Jared…I feel sick in my heart…” -Danny Rouhier “It was so painful but, once I got through it, I went numb. This was one of the best things I have ever seen.” -Jon Mumma “It actually made my hair hurt and I couldn’t watch the whole thing.” -Kat Malone). It’s conveniently linked to your right…if ya got the gumption.
I’m hoping I can get the 100th installment and the 10,000 hits mark to coincide…and there will be much rejoicing. This blog has been a nice little outlet…to stick a fork into.
On Saturday, I traveled to York (the city that over sleeps), PA to do a one-nighter at the Victory Athletic Club. Gigs like this walk a fine line of being alot of fun or mind-bendingly awful. Luckily, this one toppled into the fun side, despite hearing a couple patrons refer to my act as a “skit”. They were starved for entertainment. I know when I’m starving, my standards of deliciousness drop considerably. They bellied up to the all-you-can-chortle buffet and gorged on me, and two other very funny guys, Jim Johnson and Mike Morse. Eat, ya jackals.
While I was just in the shower (where I do some of my best thinking outside of the toilet), I started experimenting with the brevity of my material. Maybe it was the natural acoustics, but the jokes sounded funnier. So, with that, I’m designating this month, Get To The Punchlines Quicker-vember…nah…howabout Brevember…turning over a new leaf, as they fall to the ground. We’ll see if this works any better than my previous comedic experiments.
To be continued…