Cold Hearted

Hey there ‘Redheads… I hope you all enjoyed you Valentine’s Day or, as we single people referred to it, Wednesday. I figure, by not having a significant other, I saved myself a little red wagon of cash. Cash which can now be spread among all of my insignificant others (you’re welcome).
So, what the hell has happened in the week since the last installment? Well, we lost trainwreck pseudo-celebrity, Anna Nicole Smith. Nice to see she finally found a diet she can stick to. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a tragedy to see a life cut short, but I’m not sure that it’s a national tragedy deserving of the coverage it’s getting. The 24-hour news channels and entertainment magazine shows are wringing this tabloid chamois until the last drop of stupid juice is extracted. Just because she bore a passing resemblance to Marilyn Monroe she’s being treated like American royalty. Her royal lineage is a touch spotty though, since it’ll take a round robin tournament on Maury to figure out the paternity of her 5-month old daughter.

Moving on to a more lively subject, a big thanks goes out to Jodi, Vinnie, and the rest of the great people at the Saratoga Comedy Club for a fun, if frigid, weekend. I had a pretty cool experience the whole way around on this trip. I got an email from the headliner, Nick Cobb, asking if he could grab a ride with me up to the club. He was without a vehicle and he offered to pay for my gas in exchange for transport. This would save both of us some dough, this was a 3+ hour drive from the point where I was picking him up, and I had never met the guy. I said a prayer that he wasn’t a douchebag and agreed to give him a ride. Turns out I should’ve prayed for a ton more, because he turned out to be a brother from another mother. We clicked immediately…BFF.

Whadda ya mean who’s on first?

While we were kicking around Saratoga Springs, NY, we drove past a small demonstration against the war in Iraq. Maybe a half-dozen people carrying signs, trying to sway the opinions of the passers-by with their sharpie rhetoric. Most of the signs were simple and straightforward with three word phrases like OUT OF IRAQ and FOLLOW THE MONEY. The kind of message that you can wrap your mind around in the split second you see them as you drive by. Then there was one that read: ISN’T WAR STUPID? Way to take a definitive stand. Did a fifth grader make your sign? All that’s missing is a second sign that says CHECK THIS BOX FOR “YES” OR THIS BOX FOR “NO”. Or just go with the statement that sign implies: WAR HAS COOTIES. At least when I drive by I’ll know you stood for something. I’m not sure if that last mini-rant made any sense or was worth the time to cover…what I’m saying is that guy’s sign is like Anna Nicole Smith…and the circle is complete. Hakuna Matata.

The highlight of the trip home was the stop in Philly to see my nephew, Mo. Brace yourselves, these pictures may exceed the recommended daily dosage of cute…

Such a cutie patootie. Mo’s adorable too.

For those ‘Redheads who’ve been itching to see my act at a local venue, rather than hear me talk about it here, there’s a very cool show coming up that should be just the ointment. On Sunday March 11th, I’ll be a part of the first local comedy showcase at the brand spankin‘ new DC Improv Comedy Lounge. Your favorite amiable zany and two of the funniest guys in DC, Danny Rouhier and Jon Mumma, will be doing 30 minutes apiece. Click here to purchase tickets to the cherry-poppin‘ of this great new room. I’ll be pimping this show more as it draws closer, but get your tix now before it sells out. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

To be continued…

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