Wheel A Meal

Hey there, ‘Redheads… I know, two blogs in one week? Can you handle the heat? Here’s a quick tidbit for your mild amusement…

I was flipping channels a couple nights ago and turned on Wheel of Fortune just as this glorious game show nugget happened…

Gee, Pat, I don’t know how she was able to solve that puzzle so fast. Maybe it was because she was picturing each letter as a slab of light-up cheesecake, slathered in blueberry topping, that security would have to use stun batons to keep her from charging the set and attempting to cram it into her gigantic, puzzle-solving maw, using Vanna to pick her teeth afterward. She probably scrawled “Cheesecake with blueberry topping” on every flat surface of the dressing room before the show, like the head pastry chef of the Overlook Hotel. That’s like having Adam Lambert on the show and the phrase be Pat Sajak’s crotch. You know what might’ve been a tough one? Salad. Like I should talk (type). Me calling someone else a fat food vacuum is the pot calling the kettle diabetic. And there’s the spoonful of self-deprecation that helps the medicine go down.

Happy Hanukkah to one and all. May you get tchotchkes, eat latkes…and drink vodkas. It’ll sound better after you look it up…

More soon…

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