Live From Clayton…

Hey there ‘Redheads… Greetings from Tobacco Road, by the banks of the Sweet Tea River. I’m sitting in the hotel lobby in Clayton, NC, mass murdering the minutes before my shows tonight at LOL Comedy Club. Before I get started, I’d like to apologize for the last post. It stunk out loud and I feel bad for even pushing the publish button. After making you wait so long (play along) you deserved something that even slightly made sense. Well, now I’m fueled by pulled pork and sweet tea and ready to mildly amuse you.

A couple deaths to start things off… After being missing since Valentine’s Day, actor Andrew Koenig was found dead of an apparent suicide. You know him better as Boner from Growing Pains. Don’t expect any Boner jokes here. I didn’t make the connection until today, but he also played the Joker in a pretty awesome Batman fan film, Batman: Dead End. Please to enjoy it…

Boner, we hardly knew ye… On the lighter side of death, my buddy Seth tipped me off to this recent passing…

Ronald Howes Sr., the inventor of the Easy Bake Oven that millions of young girls used to bake their first cookies, cupcakes and brownies, has died at the age of 83. Howes, who also created defense weapons and printers, developed the Easy Bake Oven while working at Kenner toys in the early 1960s.

According to his wishes, he’ll be cremated. That’ll be awhile. Then, there’s the big story about the killer whale that lived up to its name at Sea World. I’ve been watching that harridan from HLN, Jane Velez-Mitchell, out shout a trained animal expert about the incident. He’s had 40 years experience with animal training and she’s a bottom feeder. I’m sure these trainers know the risks of getting into a tank with a killer whale, but they’re not allowed to have pedophile whales at Sea World. Think of the children!

Like the rest of you, I’ve been intermittently transfixed by the pageantry of the Winter Olympics. Anyone else disappointed that the Ethiopians didn’t send a delegation to compete in skeleton? There, that slice of evil should make up for the earlier lack of a Boner joke. Some people are also confused by curling. I got a chance to try curling recently, and I have a new found respect for curlers. I was set straight on curling. The sport requires a flexibility normally reserved for Spider-man’s stunt double. Sure, it looks like bowling spliced with the ice capades, but it there’s skill involved. I’m glad that technology hasn’t taken over curling. They could eliminate the sweeping and just toss a Roomba down the ice, but thankfully, tradition has prevailed.

That’s all for now… Back to my room to watch more crap.

To be continued…

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