If you’ve never held a newborn, I highly recommend it. The aura of adorability at 4 days old is more than enough to offset the constant screaming and the unannounced liquid poo. It’s that aura that is a baby’s natural defense mechanism. The nastiest of predators is reduced to a dumbstruck ball of cooing goo by the overwhelming cute. The only creature that is immune to this is, of course, the dingo.
When I went to visit the new proud parents, I brought gifts for the little poop machine. It took me awhile to figure out what to write on the card. What do you write to a 4-day-old? Finally, it came to me:
Happy Belated Birthday.
On Tuesday, after a year-and-a-half hiatus, I made my triumphant return to the Nanny O’Briens stage. Ok…remove the -umph…and the -ant…I tried. After the subpar set I had in Fredericksburg, it was nice to bounce back in front a responsive crowd. Kudos to Jay Hastings for keeping that room top notch. I had the pleasure of sharing the stage with Jeff Maurer, Brandon Ivey, Zach Toczynski, Larry Poon, and Ryan Conner. Jay fought off a misguided shot to the nuts, that became a microphone in the teeth, to close out the show…that’s a man’s man…or a wasted man.
I’d like to address a story out of Hollywood that’ll have over-arching ramifications in the world of dorkdom and comedy…
LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) — Batman is heading into a sequel, titled “The Dark Knight,” and he will face off against the Joker, this time played by Heath Ledger.
I had heard through the grapevine that comedian, Eddie Izzard was going to take on the purple pinstriped mantle of the Clown Prince of Crime. That would’ve been a fine bit of casting. I’ll reserve judgement on Mr. Ledger until I see him on the screen. My real concern is that his casting will resurrect the dead horse that is the shitty Brokeback Mountain joke. It’ll only be a matter of time before I hear some hack muse that the Joker will say to Batman, “I wish I could quit you” (watch for Carlos Mencia to do it and declare it as “edgy”). Or maybe…
For the love of all things holy…make a ROAR reference instead. The world will be better for it.
Speaking of movies, if you like a good creature flick, do yourself a favor and check out The Descent. This is from the same guy who directed the great zombie opus, 28 Days Later. He’s got a good head on his shoulders when it comes to…ripping heads off of other people’s shoulders. My good buddy, Chris White wrote a great review of the movie in his blog (conveniently linked to your right).
The next movie on my list is the Samuel L. Jackson “Muthafucka”-fest, Snakes on a Plane. If you wanna have some fun, please to be clicking here to check out a fantastic example of promotional genius.
Finally, it is with a heavy heart that I bid a somber farewell to…a fish. Jaws, my parents’ pet fish, who’s care I was entrusted with this weekend, went to the big aquarium in the sky yesterday. I did what I could, but fish CPR is a delicate art, and I was not able to spit water into his gills fast enough. So, in tribute…Jaws, this is for you…
To be continued…